Showing posts with label bible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bible. Show all posts
Friday, March 09, 2007
Georgia is poised to introduce two literature classes on the Bible in public schools next year, a move some critics say would make the state the first to take an explicit stance endorsing - and funding - biblical teachings.
The Bible already is incorporated into some classes in Georgia and other states, but some critics say the board’s move, which makes the Bible the classes’ main text, treads into dangerous turf.
On a list of classes approved Thursday by the Georgia Board of Education are Literature and History of the Old Testament Era, and Literature and History of the New Testament Era. The classes, approved last year by the Legislature, will not be required, and the state’s 180 school systems can decide for themselves whether to offer them.
As a person who isn't a biblical literalist, I find this a good thing. The worst thing for fundamentalists in my mind, is kids actually reading the whole thing and thinking about it.
And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.
Noah's Ark. Fun story. There are alot of cute Noah's ark merchandize trinkets available too. However, it thrills me to no end that kids will actually read about it and think about the morality of the story. God is pissed at human kind, so the all powerful being doesn't do an O.T. version of a laser guided strike, but instead creates death and destruction.
Kids who take these classes will ponder why God had to kill all the retarded people, and the babies, pregnant women by drowning them to death. This is not a pleasant way to go. They might also wonder why Bambi had to get it too, when God could have just turned everybody but Noah and his family into pillars of salt if he was so inclined.
The students will also read stories of Israeli armies looting, burning, pillaging and murdering all the men, boys, and non-virginal women, and taking the girls and the non deflowered women as sexual booty.
I think they should read this all. Or some good biblical smut, such as when God demands obedience or he will cause another man to bang a guy's wife, or when God orders the Israelites to bake their bread cooked over human excrement, or when a harlot brags about having lovers whose penises are the sizes of horses, and their ejaculate the amount that donkeys produce.
This should all be available to those kids in Georgia so they can make a better decision about if they believe this all literally. These stories I never heard in church. If you don't read the actual text, you can actually delude yourself into thinking that you are a biblical literalist. Bibles for everybody please.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Bible. Oh, that one can start wars, lead people into angry arguments and create conflict to no end. Here is what the conservapedia has to say on the subject.
The Bible is the collection of canonical religious texts in Christianity. Most Christians believe these men were under Divine Inspiration, and/or that the Bible is God's infallible Word to men. Exactly what is included in the Bible is a matter of some dispute. In particular, certain books counted as part of the Bible by the Roman Catholic Church are regarded as non-canonical by many Protestants and vice-versa. Accordingly, it is impossible to be certain which books of the Bible are truly canonical. However, it is certain that those books that are canonical, whichever they may be, are Divinely inspired and infallible.
The early church's determination of the canon was based on several criteria, including authorship, consistency with the rest of Scripture, and the level of general acceptance at the time.
Well this seems like a pretty big cop-out here. That bolded section was added in the last edit to "remove liberal uncertainty" by one Hirem Whickermeister III.
So, in this biblical scholar's mind everything that is from God's actual mind is the true canon. Those liberal skeptics be damned. We just can't be sure which ones they are, but if we knew, that would be God's word. What if the ones that aren't God's word have some really bad advice? Perhaps we can figure out what to do when the next edit comes along.
I like the certainty as well. There is a 100% scientific absolute certainty that whenever we figure out which version of the bible God endorses it is perfect, infallible. This likely includes the Sawahili and Finnish translations. But, I am not so sure. It's often been said that the perfect version of the book is the King James version in English like God intended. The confident statement in the Conservapedia is going out on a limb here.
Now to convince the 5 billion non christians on the planet that some of these books are the real deal, we aren't sure which, so give up your silly Hinduism, buddhism, atheism, Jainism, Shinto, Islam, Judaism, Taoism and whatever crap Madonna thinks is truth this week.
Update:Shucks. I have just been informed that the last edit done on the bible page was by a snarkmeister, whose name isn't Hirem Whickermeister (go figure) and it hasn't been caught, or perhaps it was agreed to by the people at Conservapedia.
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