Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Conservapedia Word Of The Day

The Bible. Oh, that one can start wars, lead people into angry arguments and create conflict to no end. Here is what the conservapedia has to say on the subject.

The Bible is the collection of canonical religious texts in Christianity. Most Christians believe these men were under Divine Inspiration, and/or that the Bible is God's infallible Word to men. Exactly what is included in the Bible is a matter of some dispute. In particular, certain books counted as part of the Bible by the Roman Catholic Church are regarded as non-canonical by many Protestants and vice-versa. Accordingly, it is impossible to be certain which books of the Bible are truly canonical. However, it is certain that those books that are canonical, whichever they may be, are Divinely inspired and infallible.

The early church's determination of the canon was based on several criteria, including authorship, consistency with the rest of Scripture, and the level of general acceptance at the time.

Well this seems like a pretty big cop-out here. That bolded section was added in the last edit to "remove liberal uncertainty" by one Hirem Whickermeister III.

So, in this biblical scholar's mind everything that is from God's actual mind is the true canon. Those liberal skeptics be damned. We just can't be sure which ones they are, but if we knew, that would be God's word. What if the ones that aren't God's word have some really bad advice? Perhaps we can figure out what to do when the next edit comes along.

I like the certainty as well. There is a 100% scientific absolute certainty that whenever we figure out which version of the bible God endorses it is perfect, infallible. This likely includes the Sawahili and Finnish translations. But, I am not so sure. It's often been said that the perfect version of the book is the King James version in English like God intended. The confident statement in the Conservapedia is going out on a limb here.

Now to convince the 5 billion non christians on the planet that some of these books are the real deal, we aren't sure which, so give up your silly Hinduism, buddhism, atheism, Jainism, Shinto, Islam, Judaism, Taoism and whatever crap Madonna thinks is truth this week.

Update:Shucks. I have just been informed that the last edit done on the bible page was by a snarkmeister, whose name isn't Hirem Whickermeister (go figure) and it hasn't been caught, or perhaps it was agreed to by the people at Conservapedia.