Monday, June 25, 2007

President John Wayne Inspires Mathews

This past Friday, Chris Matthews went on an anti Hillary Clinton rant. It's shocking, but true. He argues his position strongly with facts. This should finally make that broad know that she ain't got a shot in the big leagues. This is hardball, and I am Chris Matthews.

MATTHEWS: No, the idea that it -- well, let me just get historic. We've never had a woman commander in chief.

PARKER: No, you start picking on her. As soon as men start picking on her --

MATTHEWS: But isn't that a challenge, because when it comes down to that final decision to vote for president, a woman president, a woman commander in chief, will be an historic decision for people. Not just men, but women as well. Elisabeth, you're always thinking about these things.

BUMILLER: It's Golda Meir, it's Margaret Thatcher. I mean, we all remember these women. I, you know, I think we can get there.

MATTHEWS: But we've got Patton and John Wayne on our side.

My first fond memory of the John Wayne presidency was when it was revealed that his real name was Marion Morrison. Oh, how the people chuckled. He rallied though with home spun wisdom, and he gave the speech addressing this issue wearing chaps. People like chaps.

The Patton administration fared no better. He was constantly harassed by the soldier he slapped while in the service at official functions. His lawsuit finally was settled out of court, and they became friends and lovers.

Like Chris Matthews, I keep this poster of President Wayne on the bedroom ceiling. He looks so virile, yet so loving and compassionate. The kind of President who smells like English leather, yet will give you a hug when you need one right after he bombs a country whose name you can't remember. But you trust him like your daddy. Hillary can't do that. She has icky parts.