Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Kathryn Jean Lopez Waxes All Philosophical

On Hardball just now, Chris Matthews voiced his concern that it hurts Hispanics in America to have Al Gonzales, the first Hispanic attorney general doing badly.

His concerns are mine. Whenever a woman gets voted off American Idol I feel like I've died a little inside.

When Hillary Clinton loses her bid for the White House, I will go where whoever wins clearly wants me to be — home, where all women clearly belong, seen and not heard.

Al Gonzales has not just mismanaged the Department of Justice. Like another AG not so long ago, he has destroyed the hopes and dreams of little boys named Gonzalez.

What the chubby Duran Duran stalker is trying to say is that in a country that has elected 42 protestant presidents and 1 catholic, all of the white male variety, it doesn't matter when somebody finally breaks the ceiling and ends up performing horribly.

Obviously Jayson Blair didn't hurt the image of black men at the NY Times. K-Lo is an latinaeque woman, and she made it. Her deep intellect, great engagement on the issues, let alone her wit has gotten her where she is today. I do think that Lopez is qualified to work at National Review though. They hired Jonah just because his mother liked hearing recordings about ejaculate on Gap dresses. It's a pretty low bar.

Watching K-Lo pole vault the 2' on the 3rd try was a highlight of my life. I think her essay on why Simon LeBon's words on "Hungry Like The Wolf" was a metaphor for the markets producing winners and losers was what gave her the narrow edge over Jimmy Walker and Carrot Top. Sorry guys, next time.

Who would Lopez need Alberto Gonzales anyways to do inspire K-Lo to perform at the high standards inherent in her position? Does he know anything about stalking Rick Santorum or Mitt Romney anyways? Although he may be able to wiretap their phones for Kathryn, so maybe she should be a wee bit less harsh.

K-Lo I salute you. You have taught me so many great things about conservatism. Bill Buckley had to quit when you came aboard. Sometimes the pupil does exceed the master. With you at the helm, The Corner at National Review has become bacon a beacon to us all.