Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Robert Novak: Douchebag of Liberty

Jon Stewart famously came up with this moniker for Robert Novak, who also is known as the "Prince of Darkness" due to the rot that festers like a pus filled, highly infected wound, and for his dancing skills.

After Robert Novak helped out CIA agent Valerie Plame, there were no recriminations. This after all is no big deal. So Brewster-Jennings had to close as a CIA front company, and sure Valerie Plame's career was ruined. He still kept his day job writing a syndicated column in the Washington Post, and was bright and perky in his role as a commentator on CNN.

Tragically for "the douche", if I may call him that, he committed a worse sin than the aforementioned being a traitor. He swore and had a temper tantrum while on the air at CNN.

This was something that could not stand. Only Dick Cheney is allowed to use uncouth language without the political class getting the vapors. Fortunately for Novak, Fox News picked him up for a job, because they were experiencing a critical shortfall in obnoxious right wing commentators who are older than death. Novak needs to keep himself busy.

A side project of Novak's, which continues to this day, is to enrich himself while cozying up to leading politicians in Washington. Are you going to be in D.C. around September 25th? Perhaps you are on your honeymoon. Nothing says romance quite as well as hanging out with a politician, Robert Novak, and a group of corporate/concerned citizens like shelling out $595 to listen to a big shot like Bill Frist, Condi Rice, or Dick Cheney give you the inside scoop on what is occuring in D.C.

This is highly ethical and above the board. Robert Novak would never alter his coverage in favor of a politician who is paying for Bob's step aerobics class. He isn't that sort of guy. Dare, I say that attending this seminar is a patriotic obligation? To this observer, Novak's continuing career smells just like freedom.

Ben Gay too.