Sunday, May 13, 2007

Sam Brownback Has More Ways To Insult Wisconsin

LAKE GENEVA, Wis. -- Note to Sen. Sam Brownback: In Packerland, it's not cool to diss Brett Favre.

The GOP presidential hopeful drew boos and groans Friday at the Wisconsin Republican Party convention when he used a football analogy to talk about the need to focus on families.

"This is fundamental blocking and tackling," he said. "This is your line in football. If you don't have a line, how many passes can Peyton Manning complete? Greatest quarterback, maybe, in NFL history."

Going to Wisconsin to say Peyton Manning is the best evah was just the start. Afterwards, he complimented California beers, Vermont cheese, and said that Wisconsin was lucky because it was close to Ohio where there were things to do that were fun to distract you from remembering that you had to live in Wisconsin.

Before his murder, Brownback stated that Wisconsin's basketball team was quite over-rated, and he made much of his fortune betting against the spread on them because they were such big hackers. The mortician was unable to remove the dunce cap that the cheese-heads superglued to his forehead, so an extra long casket was ordered.

Brownback's widow is transporting the body out of state. Brownback, she recalled, said for God's sake don't let me spend eternity in Wisconsin with all those losers.

Oh, sorry. Brownback is still alive. It's his presidential ambitions that have been killed off.