Thursday, March 29, 2007

Trump's Hair And The Fall of Civilization

Not to be grandiose or anything, but I think I have found the tipping point of the decline of our society.

Browsing on CNN, on their front page was a story about Donald Trump "betting" hair against WWE founder Vince McMahon and having "a 50% chance" of losing his hair in a bet they made with two wrestlers being each other's champions.

This story is wrong in so many ways. Apparently Anna Nicole's corpse didn't crawl from the grave today so this was news that we needed to know, so let's digest it a bit. First wrestling is fixed. Sorry kids. McMahon has already admitted that it is scripted. Btw, Santa Claus isn't real either. Send angry emails to the address above.

Secondly, are there no people who know statistics at the Associated Press? The Washington Generals don't have a 50/50 chance of beating the Harlem Globetrotters each time they play. Vanilla ICe doesn't have a 50/50 shot of beating Brad Pitt to the heart of Angelina Jolie, even if he enters their bedroom with flowers, and has a pithy new rip off of Queen to toss Angie's way.

This article is nothing other than an undisguised advertisement for the event. It would be nice for journalists to pretend they are journalists even when discussing something as fake as wrestling. When they run fake stories on fake events, people might have a hard time telling if it's the AP or WWE that is scripted.

But apparently the AP did break real news. McMahon claims to have said "You're Fired!" first. The controversy is brewing, and the AP is going to lay some serious journalistic smackdown.

That reaction was no surprise to McMahon.

"Why would he?" McMahon said. "He's such an elitist, he wouldn't watch our product. He wouldn't know what's going on in the real world."

He does know WWE. WrestleMania IV in 1988 and WrestleMania V in 1989 were held at Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Now, the partnership is paying off again. WrestleMania 23 already has topped $5 million in ticket sales, making it the highest grossing one-day live event in WWE history.

We are doomed.