Thursday, March 01, 2007

Free Republic's GOP Straw Poll

The media often claim left blogistan is delusional, but look at this here for an example of batshit crazy.

Leading the pack in freepville is Duncan Hunter, who is trying to become the second congressman directly elected to the Presidency after Garfield who was assasinated in office. Duncan Hunter is a proponent of strong borders, likes to tap dance, will kiss with tongue on the third date only, and has no way in hell of winning.

Newt Gingrich isn't fully in the race at this point. He isn't likely fully in his pants this moment due to the latest mistress doing dictation if past behavior is any guide. One of his memorable quotes is the following. He is targeting this message to the security/soccer man demographic.
"If combat means living in a ditch, females have biological problems staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections and they don't have upper body strength. I mean, some do, but they're relatively rare. On the other hand, men are basically little piglets, you drop them in the ditch, they roll around in it, doesn't matter, you know. These things are very real. On the other hand, if combat means being on an Aegis-class cruiser managing the computer controls for twelve ships and their rockets, a female may be again dramatically better than a male who gets very, very frustrated sitting in a chair all the time because males are biologically driven to go out and hunt giraffes."

Next up in the hearts of Freepi is Rudy Guiliani. The three times married, adulterous, cousin fucker, who likes to dress in drag, appoint democratic judges, ban guns, loves abortion, and lived with a gay couple is a shoe in in the South in a GOP primary.

Tom Tancredo hates brown people. I once heard Lou Dobbs tell Tom that he was a bit of a racist. Tom has guaranteed his victory in the Florida primary by stating that Miami was like a third world country. He said it with a lack of charm though, so that may hurt.

Mitt Romney may be moving up from the back soon. He just received the key pink underwear endorsement in Arizona. It matters. So, he is a Mormon. At least he has just one wife, but apparently several home states. It was a bright idea for him to announce his candidacy at the museum of noted anti-semite Henry Ford. There are alot of Republicans who hate Jews but love Mormons. His hair looks great too.

Ron Paul is there to capture the big libertarian vote in the primaries. Those who oppose the war on terror, and the President's agenda on privacy are sure to flock to him big time.

Oh, and John McCain, this old guy is in last. Don't know much about his recent activities. I was in a coma since 2000. I sure enjoyed him saying that Falwell and Robertson were nuts, was gay friendly, and surely he is sticking to his guns as a man of principle. Does he still have that bus?

If the democratic party actually ends up losing to these distinguished candidates, they should consider disbanding, selling the office furniture on e-bay, and never be allowed out in sunlight again.