Thursday, February 22, 2007

Egyptian Blogger Imprisoned, Abu Gonzales Gets New Idea

ALEXANDRIA, Egypt -- An Egyptian blogger was convicted of insulting Islam and President Hosni Mubarak and sentenced to four years in prison on Thursday in Egypt's first prosecution of a blogger.

Abdel Kareem Nabil, a 22-year-old former student at Egypt's Al-Azhar University, an Islamic institution, had pleaded innocent to all charges, and human rights groups had called for his release.

Nabil, who used the blogger name Kareem Amer, had sharply criticized Al-Azhar on his Web log, calling it "the university of terrorism" and accusing it of suppressing free thought. He also often criticized Mubarak's regime on the blog. The university threw him out last year and pressed prosecutors to put him on trial.

I apologize right now for everything bad I have said about Harvard University, Geprge W. Bush, and James Dobson. It was wrong to say that Harvard has turned into a diploma mill for the elite masses, with grade inflation, and a track record of releasing complete jackasses out into an unsuspecting world.

Speaking of which, to say that George W. Bush fed his cocaine habit by freebasing up his asshole was mightily insensitive. He likely snorted the drug and it isn't his fault that the impurities in the product his dealer gave him caused the obvious brain damage that made his logical faculties create a skepticism that he could even find the cafeteria at Harvard.

As for James Dobson, I totally apologize for suggesting that Ted Haggard got into trouble by taking your advice and started showering with young boys. First, he only showered with adult men. You were suggesting letting boys stare at their daddy's wang to prevent homosexuality, and it is not your fault that Haggard let consenting adults get a good look. Obviously, the advice you gives only works if people spank their kids, stare at the sun for an hour, and say Dorothy we are not in Kansas anymore.

Please don't arrest me.